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Concepts Cannot Save a Soul

by Natalie Layne Baker

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1.
I want you to see me as I am when I'm alone with a camera. I want you to notice how I talk when I can't feel the air in my lungs. The past week of nightmares nearly killed me, ate a chunk of my heart with a promise rescinding. Transfer or break the toxic bond. I'll eat the cost just so I can move on. Comfort and chaos are in our blood, but we won't behave the way we should. I want you to love me 'til I decompose with my legs crossed and shoulder exposed.
2.
There's no one else in the world besides me. There's no one else in the world besides me. You can try to change my mind. People fail to do that all the time, but there's no one else in the world besides me.
3.
Adolēscō 02:49
I've been waiting for the moment to tell you I'm not impressed, but to you I've always been another burnout who's depressed. I am sitting with my legs crossed like I'm waiting for someone else, but really I'm just bored out of my mind Wait for yourself in the mirror. Coax 'em out with something ordinary. They're hungry and they're tired. Fix 'em up a bowl of spaghetti. If you could write like anyone in the world you'd choose yourself. If you could sound like anyone you'd choose anyone else. Yeah, you've got problems, and I've got problems, and everyone has problems. What's that your idol said about problems? Whining will not solve 'em.
4.
Ha, we used to wanna talk like we had a million answers and the questions in the universe were small. Late into the night, or hiding out on lunch break, I knew all I had to do was call but now I'm talking to a wall again, breathing foggy swatches in the air and I guess we're not friends anymore. Oh, we sat out on the beach with the light between our feet, and no one back at work would ever say whether we were good for each other then or now. All they ever did was turn the other way, but now I'm staring at the wall again, wondering what's happened since then and I guess we're not friends anymore
5.
The righteous cynic has names he wishes to name and an intercontinental trail of bodies, but nothing about him has changed. Nothing rhymes with hate in heart. The knowing victim sees only bad intentions but refuses to get his vision checked. The world should stop and stand at attention. Nothing rhymes with hate in my heart. The booze-soaked projector forgot his ears in the other room; he feels good when he says something clever, and the echoes will pursue him to his tomb. Nothing rhymes with hate in my heart.
6.
It's time like these that make you wonder why the world has not yet snuffed your fire, and you've been good—at least you've tried to live a just and virtuous life. There was someone just like you on the train, same colored glasses on thinner frames. When I sleep tonight I'll wonder to myself if that figure ever could be someone else. There's a hurricane in the White House, and yet even now people fall in love. Yes, it's a universe of ceaseless chaos, and even now people fall in love.
7.
There's a dead cricket in my guitar. I hope she lived a long life before settling in that space, in the dust of thirty-two states. If the next time you see me you don't recognize me don't be afraid; it's only change. Or if you're feeling loose and limber and you wanna take a swing don't be afraid; it's only change. Keep your eyes set on the prize if you don't wanna be just another one of those guys, and just be honest when you tumble. It's not the end of the world if you simply remain humble. Oh, a punch will only move us by a fraction. Don't I know that words are easier than action? But nobody will take care of us if we simply take care of ourselves first.
8.
You will likely die in a university hospital, but the good news is you won't die alone. Your family will come through to see you, not only for duty but because they love you too. It'll be a difficult day, but you'll find your way to the light. You will likely be remembered for very little, but the good news is you'll no longer feel so brittle. You will be infinite, if ultimately misunderstood, a bygone beacon of a lifetime attempting good. It'll be a difficult day, but you'll find your way to the light. You may die but only one time.
9.
Two Names 02:20
If you drown in your own voice for decades at a time what other choice do you leave them but to leave your ass behind? They are taller and more fit to tackle life head first, and no amount of shit you drink will ever quench your thirst. This could be you if you un-sewed your shut eyes and apologized. If you only listen to yourself for your entire life what other choice do you have but to want to always die? They cannot abide the slamming doors or the blood vessels you burst, as one more time you remind them that you're the king of Planet Earth. This could be you if you un-sewed your shut eyes and recognized the shadow of a soul in the mirror.
10.
Once I get my own place it's gonna come together. My cat will roam all around and make friends with the neighbors and the shadows that flutter on the walls as he dives head first to catch a pigeon. Once I get my own place you'll have to visit. Just take the PATH or the bus 'cross the bridge. I'll buy a bottle of red wine and cook a brisket with the recipe I gleaned under your tutelage. I miss you today more than yesterday, and tomorrow's gonna be even worse. Once I get my own place I'll still be a mess. I will still be lazy and distracted, but I promise you I'll do my best to occupy myself until you come back again.

about

Hey, kiddos. My name is Dan Baker, and here are a couple of songs I wrote in an attempt to describe what life was like in the year 2018. It's just me, a guitar, and an iPhone on this album, and truthfully I don't think anything else would have been right this time around.

Try and remember, as you walk through this chaos and attempt to keep your head up, that nothing is gonna save your soul until you open up your chest, let the people who matter to you see that suffering thing, and ask them for the help you need; until you're ready to keep your eyes and ears and heart open to help them do the same.

New Year's Eve is my favorite day of the year. Everything is soft, comforting, and poetic. Tonight, I'm gonna drink beer, play games, and count down to midnight with people I love. I hope you get to do your own version of that, and I wish you nothing but warmth and fulfillment in the coming year.

<3 DB

credits

released December 31, 2018

Written and performed by D.R. Baker. Recorded sporadically throughout the year 2018, in New York City and Edison, NJ.

Thanks to Caroline Eng, Teddy Wood, El Vezz, Vivian Aladren, and Luke Henderiks.

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Natalie Layne Baker Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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